


Fucking iCloud

by TheDrift



Series: Maribat One Shots [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: BAMF Women, Badass Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, F/M, Hot Mess Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Lila Rossi Bashing, Protective Alya Césaire, Protective Damian Wayne, Yes we do, lmao look at this shit, we hate Lila
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:40:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27113443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDrift/pseuds/TheDrift
Summary: another fic! Wow! I should really work on my other ones... ehehe.ANYWAYS.Another one based off of Jae's!!! Sorry if it's annoying but here!*Based off of chapter 12 of the maribat oneshots they made*
Relationships: Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Damian Wayne, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Damian Wayne
Series: Maribat One Shots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1977565
Comments: 43
Kudos: 476





	1. stop watching LOTR without me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jaebirdbluetheawesome (GreyAreaSystem)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreyAreaSystem/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Jae's Maribat Mini's](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27027628) by [jaebirdbluetheawesome (GreyAreaSystem)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreyAreaSystem/pseuds/jaebirdbluetheawesome). 



It was nearly two when the message came. Tim had ~~stolen~~ borrowed Damian's iPad to use for a case. Measuring how hard you'd have to hit someone with one of them to cause minimum bruising...

Yeah, it was a shit case.

 **Panini:** video.png

 **Panini:** I didn't have enough energy to type out my rant

Tim stared at the notifications, wondering who the hell was Panini and why they were texting Damian at two in the morning. Eventually, he remembered he was busy and pushed up the notification without a second thought.

***one week later***

"Damian's been a lot more... light?" Dick said by way of greeting when he walked into the kitchen for lunch. 

"The little shit didn't even try to stab me when I called him a shrimp last night." Jason crawled in through the kitchen window, one foot in the sink and the other outside. He had an expensive-looking bottle of whisky in one hand but quickly chugged the rest of it down.

Tim and Dick watched as Jason proceeded to lose his footing and smash his head into the floor, his feet in the sink that had somehow turned on.

"Your boots are getting wet, Jay," Tim observed, his chin resting on his hand as he watched the disaster lazily.

Jason scowled and flipped off Tim as he stood up. "Besides the point. Something's happened to the demon," Jason said, now barefoot as he took a seat at the kitchen island.

Dick opened his mouth to agree when Damian walked into the kitchen. Well, walked was an overstatement. Damian shuffled into the kitchen at the wise age of seventeen, a blanket over his head and shoulders. 

"Is he sick?" Jason mouthed at Dick, who shook his head in return. Damian had skipped out on patrol last night, from what Tim told him. Thus, he assuming Damian was sick. 

"Listen."

"Panini, why not just off her?" Damian, for some reason, was whispering in French. "Well, it would be very beneficial to you and everyone there... I could cover it, and you know this." 

Damian reached up and grabbed the Captian Crunch from the top shelf, a gallon of milk, a bowl, a spoon, and a bottle of Tylenol. 

He shuffled out of the kitchen, Dick noticing the dark-tinted sunglasses he had on. 

"Hangover." Jason proudly announced. With that, he finished the lasagna off of Tim's plate, grabbed a bottle of wine from off the top of the fridge, and went back out the window, slipping and falling in the pool when he did.

***three months later***

"Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys!" Tim ran around Wayne Manor, WayneTech tablet in hand. He stopped in the theater room, where surprisingly everyone but Bruce, Damian, and Alfred were gathered. He looked between _The Lord Of The Rings_ on-screen and his siblings. "You were watching without me?" He pouted. 

"I only just got here, hot stuff," Stephine argued. 

"Jason?" Tim asked.

"Just tell us what you got, Replacement," Jason said, patting the seat next to him. Rolling his eyes, Tim sat next to Cass, ignoring the betrayed look Jason sent him. "Rude."

Tim cast the video on his screen to the larger one in front of them, earing several fistfuls of popcorn in the face.

A girl popped up on the camera. Black hair and fierce blue eyes, bigger than the moon. She was muttering angrily in french as she adjusted her camera. Someone said something behind her, a female voice they noticed, and the girl snapped something back in french.

 _"Dami, I'm not typing this out because I need to practice my English, and I also am too angry to type it out. So we were in class, right? Yeah, so liebitch was going on and on about how Volpina was the best villain out of all of them 'ten out of ten most dangerous!!!' but Alya, being the bitchass motherfucking queen she is, went 'no bitch it was obviously Miracle Queen,' because Ladybug and Chat literally almost_ died, _but like we're_ totally _not counting that. Anyways, Lila was like '_ oh, yeah, what a knockoff' _and Alya at this point has literal fire coming out of her ears, oui? Alya's like, 'no bitch, Ladybug almost died' Chloe, by the way, was being a piece of shit and just smirking as Alya practically defended her. Anyways, Lila was like, 'what does she have that Volpina didn't? And Alya deadass looked her in the eyes and said 'a personality' and bitch tried bursting into tears like 'Alya why you coming after my life like that?' and Alya goes 'If I were going after your life you'd be dead.' and Lila goes 'oh. Like your blog?'. Bitch, Chloe, and I had to stop Alya from ripping off Lila's wig and strangling her with it. Fortunately, Alya's not being put in jail for murder. Unfortunately, Chloe, Alya, Lila, and I have to stay after school."_ The girl sighed. _"see you later, Dami!"_ With that, the video ended.

"Who?" Cass was the first to recover from that bombshell. 

"'Panini,' from what I can tell," Tim said, standing as if finishing a presentation. "Apparently, Dami forgot that videos save to the cloud. He's been communicating with this girl for at least three months." 

"That's when the video was dated?" Dick asked, nodding to the calendar in the background. Tim nodded, now pacing around.

"Probably longer, considering she called him 'Bitch' and is still alive."

"Name?"

"Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Panini to Damian. Daughter of two bakers, hence the name, probably." Jason nodded, sitting up straighter. 

"If we found this, and he obviously knows the people in the video, what else has he been hiding from us?" Jason asked skeptically. 

"A lot," Tim said. "If I can get Bab's over here Demon's laptop, we could unveil an entire well of these angry little rants." 

"Invasion of privacy. We could always just _ask_ Lil' D." Everyone stared at Dick, then went back to planning until Alfred called them for dinner. Damian was absent again. Alfred explained that the boy was video chatting somebody and had refused to come out of his room.

"Invasion of privacy it is!" Steph said joyously.

Bruce, at the head of the table, stared at her. What the fuck?

"Oh, god, that isn't right," Duke sighed tiredly at his peas. 


	2. Fireworks and Sunrise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely loved this. And thank you to Jae! Their work is amazing! I absolutely love their short fics.

"Damian, isn't it feeding time for you?" Marinette was braiding her hair that'd she'd been growing out over the summer into a long thick braid down her back.

"One second, Habibti," Damian was slouched over his desk, his hands moving expertly over the paper. He'd grown a bit more relaxed ever since the Wayne Gala. Marinette was there with two of her blonde friends. Adrien and Chloe. They'd been daring her to do ridiculous things the entire night, from balancing on a broom with one foot to chugging down an entire bottle of wine in under thirty seconds.

Once he'd placed a bet against her, he'd regretted it later that night, they'd become fast friends. 

"That's what she said," Marinette muttered, finishing her braids with a bow. "How's it look?" Damian looked up from his drawing of Wayne Manor. Marinette was dressed in her usual black fleece crop top and sleep shorts.

"Perfect, Panini." Marinette wrinkled her nose at the nickname and he went back to sketching. 

"When are you coming to Paris?" Marinette asked. Damian looked up at her with a small glare. Marinette's bluebell eyes crinkled her from an absurdly large smile. The last time he'd been there, they'd played a drinking game around three months ago. The next night, he'd shuffled into the kitchen to grab cereal (he'd never tell Richard that he'd actually liked it) and Tylenol. 

The only way he'd gotten there undetected was because of Pegasus, Marinette's friend. He'd gotten Damian there safely and back, his siblings and father unaware of his little trip. 

"When're you gonna come and pick me up?" Damian asked, looking back down at his paper. There final touches. Titus in the front yard, just behind the gate. Food time. IT was well past seven, so Damian figured everyone had finished eating and was doing their own thing. Not bothering to grab a shirt, he grabbed his AirPods, connected, and walked out of his room in only sweatpants.

"Mmm, how's tomorrow?" She asked. Damian glanced down at his phone. Marinette was setting down the phone, causing a slight movement as she did. After that, she went to set up a beanbag, punching it to make sure it was comfortable first. He made his way down the stairs, not noticing as Jason jogged up the stairs, turning around and following Damian instead.

"I think I can do tomorrow," he said, making his way to the kitchen. He looked around to make sure no one else was in the room before getting out the Craft mac and cheese. "Is your school all caught up?"

"It's summer, Habibi," Marinette chided. He raised an eyebrow and she sighed. "Yes, it's all caught up." Turning his back to the island, he started to go around the kitchen, getting out a pot and filling it with water, failing to notice the four boys and three girls behind him, staring. ("He didn't even notice us!" "Shut up, Dick, he'll _hear_ us.")

"Very well. Tomorrow then."

After that, he set the phone down on the counter. Behind him, not that he could see or hear, everyone leaned forwards, hoping to catch another glimpse of the girl. They were not disappointed.

*********

"So... We're all getting on a flight to Paris tonight," Dick said, watching as Damian continued his conversation. The girl, Panini, obviously saw them but decided not to comment on it for some reason, even though Jason totally would've. "I mean, he's eating _Craft_ for god's sake."

"Yep, the plane's already started," Babs said, not taking her eyes off of Damian as she messed around on her phone. "We can be there by tomorrow afternoonish if we leave right now." 

Just as Damian turned around to grab a bowl, the last of the group had left, already going on a mission.

A mission to protect Damian's innocence. 

*********

Paris was stunning.

Too bad Tim barely got any time to see it before being whisked away by the rest of his siblings. "Her parents own a bakery!" Dick said excitedly, staring down at his phone as Cass pulled on his hand. They were in a chain of sorts. Duke holding onto Cass, Cass to Dick. Tim was holding onto Dick's left elbow and his second hand went to Jason's shoulder, while Jason _insisted_ on pushing Babs, who was holding Steph's hand. 

Not odd at all, said the bird. 

"Ooo, a photoshoot," Steph said, tugging at Barbara's hand. A young male model with blond hair was modeling a new line of clothes in a park. They stopped to watch as Tim took his hand from Dick's elbow to look the boy up.

"Agrest. Father is a douche." He said, pocketing the phone. Jason stiffened at that, then glared at the man who was shouting 'smile like your momma has some noodles left for you' as Tim added, "Mother is in a coma." 

********

"Ready to get totally dared into oblivion?" Marinette asked as she stepped through the glowing pink portal. Damian groaned. Of course, it was game night. "Oh, cheer up. Everyone's going to be there. Alya, Nino, Adrien, 'Gami, Chloe, Luka-"

"Alright, Angel, I'm coming." Damian made a grab for his overnight bag, but Marinette darted for it instead, grabbing it and running to the portal. "Hey, literally fuck you." 

"Maybe later." Marinette winked, causing Damian to give a slight blush, then flip her off. He followed her through the portal and into Chloe's hotel. "Dami's here guys!" A resounding cheer went up.

Most of Marinette's class was there, minus Kim and Chloe, who were out getting the liquor and alcohol. 

Oh, yes. 

Damian wouldn't remember this night at all.

********

"He's in Paris, guys," Tim announced, looking at Damian's Snapchat figure. 

"What? How?" Barbara demanded. "I've been tracking all the flights! Privet or not, if you're flying, I know." 

"Maybe he got Jon to take him." Steph was lying down in their hotel room, flicking through random shows. "Figure out what he's doing, pretty boy." Grumbling, Tim and Barbara made their way into his private snaps."

He was... at a party...

"What the frick frack snip snap tickity tack is this?" Barbara muttered. Everyone crowded around her. Some kid with frosted tips had his phone, taking a selfie with Panini. Damian had his phone back, a photo of him with the heart freckles, and the words _Motherfucking Chein took my phone. Bitch._

"They're in the same hotel!" Dick screeched, falling off of the chair he was on. Indeed, they were in _Le Grand Paris._

"Party crashing time?" Jason asked, a devil-like grin filling his face.

"Indeed." Cass agreed.

"Oh, this is _such_ a bad idea," Duke said as he followed his family out of the doors and to the elevator. 

********

"I dare Damian to buy back Vine," Kim said proudly. Without breaking eye contact, Damian brought out his phone and went through it. A ping went through everyone's phones in the room.

_Vine is back!!!_

"Well, shit, I didn't think you'd actually do it," Kim said, taking a sip of the bottle in his hands. Whisky, cheap beer, and a couple of energy drinks all meshed into one monster of a drink. 

"My turn!" Adrien said loudly. Kim handed him the bottle reluctantly. "Okay... Damian." Damian's head snapped up from his phone, hitting Marinettes. They were trying out the bear with glasses filter together before their heads clashed. 

Chloe, Kagami, Kim, Adrien, Marinette, Rose, Luka, and Damian had started the little game while Jon, who'd arrived a bit earlier, was playing chicken with the rest of the class group.

"Yes, Agreste?" Damian asked skeptically. 

"Oh, get over yourself, bird boy." Damian rolled his eyes. Everyone in the room who was working for the Miraculous team or was on the team knew who he was, and vice versa.

Chloe? Wasp.

Marinette? The one and only.

Rose? The little mouse thing, only cuter.

Motherfreaking Juleka? She was the one who got the money by modeling outfits and thus earning them a 'hideout' where they could go as a superhero to unwind.

Basically, if you were in the room, you were somehow involved in punching bad guys. 

"I dare you to... burn down Agreste Wearhouses Inc." Damian stared at Adrien for a moment, then shrugged. "Wait- really? Thank God. Father replaced all of the workers with machines he controls remotely. Laid off thousands of people. And they're bad for the environment." Damian was already on his feet, grabbing his hoodie from behind him and pulling it over his head. 

Marinette was already filming it for Snapchat. 

"Time to go commit arson~~~" she sang softly as everyone in their little group went out of the room and raced down the steps.

*******

Dick, Jason, Tim, Barbara, Duke, Cass, and Stephine walked out of the gold-painted elevator and stood on the top floor of the hotel the door next to them had swung shut and they could hear voices running down the steps. They'd figure that out later.

Dick went up to the door at the end, where you could hear loud music playing and laughter. He guessed the whole floor was theirs since neighbors would clearly hear and complain.

"Yes?" A boy with a buzzcut and large thick glasses opened the door before Dick even knocked. 

"Hi! Is Dami there?" Behind the boy, it quieted down. 

"'Dami'? Sorry, don't know her." Dick frowned and opened his mouth to speak before he was cut off by Tim. The boy, Max, Dick realized from Damian's stories, looked Tim up and down.

"I'm Tim Drake-"

"All of our resident rich kids are gone at the moment, come back in the morning." The door was slammed on their face. 

********

" _EVERYONE SCATTER!"_ Max yelled, opening up a portal. Everyone grabbed something and ran through the portal, just as Dick knocked again, then opened the door.

The room was spotless.

The fuck.

*********

"Grab those ones," Damian instructed, pointing to the gasoline lined up in neat little rows. 

"Gotcha, Captain." Marinette bounded over, taking two in each hand, while everyone else followed. "We almost done?"

"Almost, Panini," Damian said, grabbing a five-pack of lighters and putting it in the cart. "Home Depot isn't very child friendly." 

"Yeah- one second." Marinette's phone started to ring. "Max? Yeah. Oh, really?" She began to laugh and Damian raised an eyebrow. "Alright. Meet us there with fireworks, please." 

"Something you'd like to share with the class, bugaboo?" Adrien asked playfully.

"Your brothers are in Paris, Habibi," Marinette grinned, ignoring her brother. "Are we going to finish this dare or not?"

"Of course, Panini. Why do you think less of me?" Marinette winked in response. "Agreste. Pull the van around."

"There's going to be rain tonight, should we worry?" Chloe asked, wrinkling her nose at the thought of something spoiling her illegal fun.

"Nah. It'll be great." 

********

The video was a minute long. 

_Marinette had Damian's phone again and was currently recording them for his Snapchat. The angel was very bad and the camera kept bouncing as if they were running._

_"We're going to blow up Gabriel!" Marinette whispered excitedly._

_"Let's go, Bugaboo! Mr. Ninja over here keeps slowing down for you!" Another male voice said. The camera focused ahead of them. Gabriel Factories was up ahead, while Adrien was in a shopping cart with dozens of explosives._

_"Fuck yeah,_ " _was the last thing whispered_.

*********

"Damian! The phone's ringing for you!" Marinette handed Damian back his phone. He wrinkled his nose and answered Richard's call. 

"Yes?" He asked boredly, spreading the gasoline in lines to the entrance of the building. Kim and Adrien had already checked it for civilians. And, of course, they found none. 

"What the _hell_ are you doing?" Richard demanded. Damian gave a tight-lipped smile.

"I'm doing my art homework. I think you'll be quite pleased with the result." There we go. He emptied the last of it by the gates, then sat next to the shopping cart with Marinette while he waited for the others to finished.

"I'm on my way." 

"Of course. I'll see you tomorrow, Richard." 

"Hey, don't hang up on me-!" Damian hung up on him.

"We're all ready, bird brain!" Kim cheered, carrying Max in one arm and Alix (who threw the gasoline and alcohol into the building with one arm) in the other. "Got the lighter?"

"Of course. Panini?"

"Gotcha."

***********

_Boom._

Everyone in Paris could hear the explosion. 

"Shit," Dick said, staring at the mushroom-like cloud over what he assumed was Gabriel factory. 

"Nice," Jason said, lighting a cigarette. He leaned against Cass, who wrinkled her nose in return. "It's about time he acted his age."

"By blowing up buildings?" Dick demanded.

"The guy _was_ an asshole," Duke admitted with a shrug. "Sorry, man," he said when he saw Dick's betrayed expression. "But at least no other buildings caught fire."

"Yeah, it'd be all over the news if other buildings caught fire. There was some sort of protective thingy, I guess," Tim said, not looking up from his phone as Stephine rested her arm on his shoulder. 

Fireworks started going off as rain started to pour. 

"Now we're all soaked. Great." Jason said, looking down at his second pair of now ruined shoes. He tore off his jacket and held it above him and Cass, not letting his cigarette go out just yet.

"Still gotta find Dami?" Tim asked, joining Cass in using Jason as an umbrella. 

"Nah, let him have his fun," Stephine chided, digging her elbows into Dick's ribs. He sighed. "C'mon. We'll get him when he gets home. Don't worry about it." Dick sighed, running a hand down his face and muttering something about peer pressure. 

"Fine. You're all horrible influences." They cheered while Dick led them back to the hotel, acting as an umbrella for whoever needed it.

******

Everyone had noise-canceling headphones on when the building exploded. They sat there, some in the shopping carts while others were either in the car or just sitting on the ground.

Marinette and Damian were both listening to the same calming music as the fireworks started.

"I'm glad I met you, Habibi," Marinette whispered softly, watching the fireworks. She enclasped his hand with her and kissed the back of his hand. 

The two teenagers sat there until the rest of Max's fireworks went off, then tiredly went through the portal with the rest of their hazardous group, someone carrying Jon, who was blackout drunk. 

********

Damian knew Marinette was behind him and didn't bother complaining as she stood right next to them. Everyone else was either throwing up or still asleep, while Damian and Marinette watched the sunrise.

They stood in silence for a few minutes, watching as the sun did its best to rise. 

The night was perfect. 

He was a glorious greek god that'd come down from the heavens to grace her with his presence, she thought while standing next to him.

She was an enchantress who he would willingly give everything up for. He'd follow her down the darkest roads and to the deepest sea if she'd ask, he thought. 

But they didn't say anything.

They just stood in the moment, two lovesick teenagers enjoying the sunset and trying to spot the smoke from the fire before.

It was glorious. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if I got your pronouns wrong, Jae. I didn't know but now I do and I respect you for correcting me. If I still got them wrong, please PLEASEEEEE tell me <3  
> (also this is why I call everyone babes)  
> (but i still respect everyone's pronouns and genders love you all bye)


End file.
